That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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