I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I understand Curling. That high.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
