Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
