I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize