I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
