Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize