Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
