so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
