actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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