But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
