Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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