So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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