he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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