I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
