If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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