...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
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there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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