i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
