i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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