so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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