drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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