As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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