i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
