Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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