Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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