i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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