Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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