morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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