This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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