I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
