After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
