Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
