i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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