You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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