Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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