you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
