Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
