He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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