How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You pole danced in your parka.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
