i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
