Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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