Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I could make wine with my vomit
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
