So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
