yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
