Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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