What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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