One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
