Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
