I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
