physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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