I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
how does that bad decision feel?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
