I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
