he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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