just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
