so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
