Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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