she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
