i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
