Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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