Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize