Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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