He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize