Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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