If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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