I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
