Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
